Why in 2020 do people still heat with wood ?

Am I living in a 3rd world country ?

WHY do people here in the US still Heat with Wood ?

Like really, Heating with Wood ?

Isn’t that so like really yesterday in this age of the Interweb where one merely picks up their Huawei or I-Phone or Whatever and says, “Hey Alexa or Google turn up the temperature by 1.5 degrees” ?

(I tried picking up my Huawei Smartphone and saying into it: “Hey, Alexa, Google, or Whoever, please throw another log into woodstove” and nothing happened. But, on the other-other hand, there is no mobile phone coverage where I live).

I mean, shit, why not just have a coal bin and heat with coal ?

Or live in a fucking cave ?

Some people, for whatever reason, perhaps they are Luddites, in fact, still heat with wood (we won’t mention any names here Sir Arthur Busch).

Well, there actually is a really good reason why people, at least rural folks that have trees on their land, heat with wood:

– Besides being a renewable resource,

– it is by far, no contest, the least expensive (Dollar-wise) source of heat.

In Table I below I show the cost of heating a home in Indiana today sorted by cost, according to heat source.

(Heating your home is actually quite important. If you don’t have heat your pipes will freeze, and you might freeze to death, and I hate it when that happens).

Table I. Costs for heating a home in Indiana

If you live in a city, you have all the options in Table I as heating sources.

However, if you live in a rural area without natural gas, until recently, your only choices have been wood, propane, or resistive electric (e.g. baseboard heating). Both propane and electric baseboard heating are 3 times more expensive than natural gas, and 6 times more expensive than wood – and that’s if you buy your wood. If you cut your own wood, wood is even less expensive ($-expensive, we assume your labor is free).

Recently (in the last 10 years) another option for rural folks to heat their homes has become available: Chinese Ductless DC Inverter Heat Pumps. The best ones today are about 400% efficient and heat down to minus 22 oF. They cost about 1500 $ if you install them yourself. And that first heat pump, if used throughout the heating season, would pay for itself in energy cost savings the very first year.

So, that’s how I heat my 2400 ft^2 home – with Ductless DC Inverter Heat Pumps. I now have 5 of them – one (or two) for each room in my house, each with their own thermostat – so I am very comfortable, Hedonistic-ly comfortable.

There is a real need for these heat pumps in rural areas. Some people who have been heating their homes with wood for 40 years, may get to the point in their lives where felling trees, chopping them up, splitting the wood, ricking it to be seasoned, moving it into your house, dealing with ashes and cleaning your chimney, etc., just isn’t as much fun or romantic as it was when they were 40 years younger. And some of these folks can’t afford to fill up their propane tanks or run their baseboard heating. (I have lost all respect for Henry David Thoreau. In his book Walden; or Life in the Woods, Thoreau says wood heats you twice: once when you cut it, and once when you burn it. My last count was more like it heats you at least 10 times).

Now, I still do heat with wood, once in awhile. And, if you’re going to heat with wood, at least do it right !

First, get yourself a Chinese battery-powered wheelbarrow,

with non-pneumatic puncture-proof tires,

and some dog ramps which the lazy

dyslectic god refuses to use.

(see Fig. 1).

Figure 1. Chinese Battery-Powered Wheel Barrow loaded up ready to go up the non-ADA-compliant dog ramps into the house.

And then wheel that barrow right into your living room next to your 46 year-old cast iron stove (see Fig. 2).

Figure 2. Loaded Battery-Powered Wheel Barrow next to my 46 year-old Vermont Castings Vigilant Wood Stove (how many of your appliances are 46 years old ?).

But, then, like, let’s get really Real.

Like, when you have five 300 % efficient almost-silent Ductless DC Inverter Heat Pumps from China (See e.g. Fig. 3) who needs wood ???

Figure 3. Picture of one of my out-of-date [only 300% efficient and only good down to minus 5 oF] Heat Pumps.

So, why do I still have a Wood Stove (besides for the times there is no electricity or if the temperatures goes below minus 5 oF) ?

This is where a rich fantasy life comes in handy.

FANTASY

Setting:

My heat pumps have the house very warm

AND

I have a woman in my house (this is where one needs to suspend disbelief)

AND

I then light the Wood Stove making my home unbearably hot.

Fantasy Possible Ending 1: (The woman is a Brunette)*

and she says

“This is so cool ! We can open the doors and have a fresh breeze in the middle of the winter and still be warm !”.

Fantasy Possible Ending B: (The woman is a Blonde)*

and she says

“Oh my, it’s so hot in here, the only thing to do is to take off all my clothes”.

And, yeah, right.

Catch a tiger by the tail.

So then what happens ???

---

*But only her hair dresser knows for sure.