Humming Birds

This is SAFE to read, I swear! Nothing but Humming Birds. They (almost all) have left -- and they all left at once ... was it something I said ?

These guys have been driving me CRAZY !

I bought a brand-new Humming Bird feeder this Spring, and put it out …

And not much happened. A few Humming Birds, but the sugar-water never went down. Not much anyway.

Now, I remember, in the past, I had Zillions of Humming Birds. So I figured: Global Warming! (That was Sarcasm).

NOT! I really figured that I had a defective Humming Bird Feeder. So I got my old one out of the garbage, cleaned it up, and put it up, to do an experiment, to PROVE that Bear Hardware had sold me a defective Humming Bird feeder. I was thinking like a major lawsuit here.

And I did this very scientifically, using a marker to measure the level in each feeder.

And I was RIGHT (I just love it when I can PROVE that I am RIGHT!). Sure enough the level in the old rusted feeder was going down faster.

Now, do I need to add in this other little detail completely irrelevant to my brilliant scientific endeavor that, well, I’ll just throw this in, this unrelated fact, because I’m kind of doing that Stream-of-Consciousness thing, and you can just ignore it. (Irrelevant Fact to ignore: the old rusted Humming Bird feeder had a leak).

Anyway, then something happened, and I had SWARMS of humming birds at my new scientifically-proven-to-be-defective feeder. And then I started to get worried: I was going through 2 pounds of sugar a week trying to keep that non-leaking-defective feeder filled. I had been buying my sugar using a credit card, and figured if I kept this up it wouldn’t be long before I got a visit from the BTAF (Bureau of Tobacco, Alcohol and Firearms, or is it BATF?) because, looking at their DATA, they KNEW that they had found the largest producer of moonshine in Brown County (you know, that county where they pump the Sunshine in and the Moonshine out). Look, just because I’m paranoid does not mean that invisible creatures from outer space (chiggers) are not here to liquify my body and slurp it up with a straw.

And then, this is REALLY weird — like I was invaded by a swarm of Amazons! Nothing but female Humming Birds — hardly any had the Ruby Throat!

And, then, something else happened. One day, last Thursday, they all disappeared. Well, there are still a few hanging around, I hear their chitters, and occasionally see one at the feeder … but that feeder that should have been emptied in 2 days is still nearly completely full after 3 days … what happened? Did I say something wrong?

So, here is the Narrative that I have made up to explain all this craziness …

A few Humming Birds flew up here from Costa Rica (illegal aliens).

And, I don’t know whether I should say this here, but I think they had sex, and created a whole bunch of baby Humming Birds (come on, you’ve heard about the Birds and the Bees, haven’t you?).

And, the immatures do not have the Ruby throats …

And, then they just SWARMED around that feeder during the last couple of weeks storing up ENERGY for their mere few-day-3500-mile flight south.

And, I’ve also heard, a few don’t go — some of the old farts just are not up to the journey. So they will just winter here, hoping to survive till the Rose of Sharon blossoms again next year. (Whenever I think Rose of Sharon I think of Steinbeck’s novel, The Grapes of Wrath).

So, I’m leaving my feeder up all winter … but with not much nectar, and I’ll probably have to clean it out every so often.

Fall is coming!